28/02

[firebones]

felt again the fear, the regret on my skin, mortifying myself for leaving behind, unattended, neglected even, all the green life outside on my balcony. i cleaned the whole room, prune the dried leaves and talk a little to the most affected of all the plants; my two rose plants. had a moment of thinking in how i didnt want to stay away from living things that need my care and support, what are the consecuences for this disappearing, understanding that it wasn't a conscious thing i do, nor i should punish myself even more. because depression, anxiety and adhd brings a lot of extra stress to an already agitated brain. however, it was more easier to talk with my rose plants that with the people i left behind. but i'm still learning and working to do it, when i'll be better.

working at the balcony, surrounded by my cats and my plants and getting a little of natural light actually helped me to do a better job. or at least, not feeling existential dread like all this days on this week. got an old radio to work again and put some "classic" songs (aka, music from the last 40 years that for me its just "the last 20 years, you know, 80s and so) that cheered me up my day.

 

shared a silly fact about my bracelets with a friend and got the opportunity to show them a little. i like so much the chaos, the non-consistent palette of the beads, and the charms? truly, its moon and sun coded.

and the day died with a precious sky, as always. madrid could be shitty sometimes but god damn it, what a gorgeous sunsets it left. specially if you have cool film to make everything more rainbow-esque and magical.