firebones | -Last Entries-

I'm trying to remember how I ended up here. Maybe it was when I was researching Emmrich from Dragon Age, maybe it was something that it always was on the back on my mind (specially with the influence of my uncle and my tendency to classic horror and gothic figures). Maybe was a dream when I met my deceased grandpa (I love him a lot, even if he isn't here anymore) talking about this specific actor and his films.
The thing was, for some reason, a few weeks ago Pinterest didn't stop showing me marvelous pictures of Vincent Price and his firsts films, and I end up biting the bait because there was something enigmatic, appealing and terribly dangerous in Nicholas Van Ryn. The classic 'oh boy, he could ruin my life and I would let him'

So, I begin to watch some movies of him. I have more context on my situation below, specially with horror films, that would make sense with the list of chosen films. Feel free to join me and comment about this wonderful movie evenings with the lord of Horror and Gothic vibes. As you may imagine, this films are from almost one hundred years ago; if you decide to view them, take them with a grain of salt. I'll put the possible content warning/trigger warning in each post of the films so you can avoid them.

Already watched:
1. Dragonwyck (1946)
2. The House of the Seven Gables (1940)
3. The Mad Magician (1954)
4. The Long Night (1947)

Pending:
- The Baron of Arizona (1950)
- The Masque of the Red Dead (1964)
- House of Wax (1953)
- The Ten Commandements (1956)
- Tower of London (1939)
- House of Haunted Hill (1959)
- Rage of the Buccaneers (1961)
- The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

But, Ada, why this specific films and not the horror ones that he is pretty famous for?

Somehow it's funny because I was really small when I saw him for the first time in a film, Edward Scissorhands. He looked really kind and I always felt so sad on how his character ends, even if I was just a kid. My parents or maybe my uncle explained me who was that actor and he had already died (two months after my birth, as a curious fact), and I have that memory of being a child and remembering the whole film with a lot of cherish feeling (even if right now there's certain things that didn't allowed me to see it again *yet*)

Due some circumstances (probably my parents trying to show me that scary films aren't that scary, but it didn't work; even the most soft reference to ghosts produced me terrible nightmares in first person with that topic) I couldn't see him in any of his big horror films, which was sad for me. My uncle is a big fan of horror so sometimes I saw stuff on his house or the classic The Simpsons referencing pop culture when he was mentioned. But until 2024, nothing else.

So, in the middle of my artblock and my recovery of general burnout, films were an option. And I discover that besides the cult horror titles Vincent Price did, he made some noir films on his early career, taking place on 1800s, some of them even with gothic themes! Which was exactly the vibe I love and maybe what I needed.

Current Mood: awake
Current Location: sofa, next to my cat

i swear to god this is friggin' stupid.

context!
im a 90s kid who clearly was a little bean when the lord of the rings films came out, so a big part of my development as an artist and person is influenced by this piece of media *cheff kiss*
of course, in that time there was another big saga on going, harry potter. and i clearly remember how my brain tried to figure out why characters like legolas, arwen and dobby were suposed to be from the same race. it doesn't had any sense and i never understood it! (until i was a little older to figure out why part of HP world was like that. but that's on another topic)

that wasn't the only time where i didnt understand elf, faeries and goblins could be that different from one representation to another one. spain has cool things, and lot of history on his back. recently i could track the places where the celtic people got on the iberian peninsula and i was really excited to discover that! galicia, one of the north western regions, is probably the place with most celtic influence, but we have history on avila and madrid, regions on the center of the peninsula.
yes, spain is catholic and it shows, but it has still interesting mythology on their history, specially on the northern zones! if you want to research cool stuff, basque country/euskaldun culture is AMAZING. and yet, i was raised in a bland popular culture (probably because of the high amount of catholics on my family) of what hadas (fairy) was. because i didn't even knew about feyworld until i was really older (like, 25 or more)

the term 'hadas' (faeries) only means one thing in the spanish popular culture, and it's those tiny criatures like Tinkerbell with butterfly wings and sparkling dust making magic. which isn't inherently bad, but feyworld or elves or anything that could astray from that perception? nope, there isn't mentioned anywhere, not even in playgrounds, schools, etc. besides the elves i already mentioned before.

we had duendes, trasgos, hadas, gnomos... but nothing else.

so when i'm introduced to the feykind lore, i understand how figures like Jareth the Goblin King, he would be more a fey lord than a goblin. because you see david bowie and you look at the other small creatures and again, all of that are goblins?

gotta say that elves, faeries and goblins has been mixed in terms (in a way that they were using the wrong name for the same creature, or the same name for two different creatures) not only in spanish culture, or at least, the small amount of spanish culture that could have got them. but it's intriguing how i know a lot about mythology on angels and demons, some other little on witchcraft, and barely nothing on this last one.

with this proper context, it's even more funnier coming to the original topic: the Elf Street, or Calle Elfo, a street of my neighborhood that i saw since i was little and it made me chuckle but didnt knew why it's called like that.

well. i tried. i swear i tried to research it for several days. there's no friggin evidence why is called like this.

i only got the information of when it began to be called Calle del Elfo (Street of the Elf), and it was on 1950's year. which is EVEN WEIRDER. because i got some maps from earlier on that date and the street was called 'Covadonga Street' (probably named after Nuestra Señora de Covadonga). on that time, spain was under a dictatorship pretty close to the Church, *it really has no sense that a street called after a representation of Virgin Mary goes under the name of a pagan creature*. because that people where... INTENSE, to the point of translate any author name to spanish for the sake of patriotism.

but there's not a single trace of information on why the street is called like this. this was a rural zone before 1950, maybe if it was some forest, could be some elves. or goblins. or faeries. or whatever the person who saw that creature called that, and therefore, used the name for the street.

it was also a name (not a last name) on XVIII century, but i barely found records about it.

so, this could be a pretty cool mystery or the most frustrant research i ever made. god damn it

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Location: Good Ol' Sofa
Current Music: Blackbriar

yesterday i could finally write a little more of Laurel's story on a prose note. not only outline, but chapter part.
i know outlines are important and valid too but i do see value on being able to write the actual story, specially when i was so burned out i couldn't even write two words together that sounded good.

probably it has something to do with the great storm we had yesterday. we had rainy days this last two weeks -which is not too good for my laundry schedules but welp-, but not a proper storm, lightning and thunders breaking the sky, blinding flaring clouds in a flash of lilac that burns into your eyes. got my writing stuff, sit down on the conservatoire -or the balcony, if you dont want to call it something that... intense- and begin to write.
raging storm, a pretty nice longplay to hear and a tense scene like the first one on Laurel's story: the night when her life changed forever. the night when she lost all her blood family, discovering another part that she didn't even knew. and maybe, a - love.
i want so badly to show you her story, to see her story finally published, it would be so great!
yesterday's storm truly energized me, rainy days are lovely, but there's something raw and wonderful on storms and thunders. i was talking with my mother on the phone and she told me that she was frightened of storms when i was a child and we were on our first house -a small apartment on an former hotel from a skiing zone, mountain and forest surrounded, specially our house which was directly into the forest-. and yet, she told me i always laughed with the storms, truly enjoying that moment.

also, i identified that lovely singer bird that has been singing everyday at dawn in my roof. it's a blackbird (probably, its pretty dark when i saw him singing) but it matches to the silhouette and the song i heard.
would love to offer him some treat but im not sure if he would descend that close to humans. but it's a nice visit every dawn.

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: the studio
Current Music: halidonmusic yt - pachelbel

hey-ho! made a lot of updates with just pictures and no-text, probably i'll write about those memories, eventually. the important thing is putting them somewhere so i could remind what things i've been doing because i barely have memories of what happened since late 2023 :'D

today was a good day, i can say! sunday normally are two kinds of days: or angsty and anxious because there's a lot of things to get ready for the next week, or chill and somehow boring, because relax and there's little to do (well, there's little i want to do)

a new coffee place just opened on my neighborhood (we lack of big coffee places to write and hang out a little, we have more small places but not the vibes, so this was pretty cool!) and my partner and i decided to give it a try. packed my ipad (to get along with it again, since i put my hopes on my ipad really high and i think i cursed myself, as always) to keep writing a little the laurel's story lineup (yay! im touching longfic again! hurray!) but we had to run some errands first

the store we want to check was closed when we arrived (technically, it closes at 14:30. we arrived at 14:15 and the whole store was closed, just opened the secondary door for the customers inside. i kinda get it, but we thought that if we had do that when we worked at shops in the past, we would get really wrecked by the managers. but we weren't going to make a big deal, so we checked other shops we had on our list)

i've found this SUPER COOL holographic purple keychain on one of the dollar-tree stores (the equivalent). it's suposed to be a prize for a piñata but it was pretty cool to not grab it. i need more socially acepted keychains to custom my jacket or my work's backpack, and this one were going with me (at least, this month the bills are being more gentle with me. i can treat myself with a small keychain)

after that, we grabbed some empanadas to eat (pretty good deal and they were SPECTACULAR, sadly i didnt took photo of them), eat at home and make some time until the shop opened again.

after buying the needed stuff FINALLY i could try the new coffee place. it was our old sushi place back on 2017, the one where my partner and i had our first "date" and where we grabbed pretty afordable and good quality sushi when we were absolutly wasted after a con or a hard day. we mourn the loss of that place, we had a lot of memories there, but having a place to hang out, write, and stay together again, and in the same local, its kinda beautiful too <3

they took the upper floor and made it SUPER cozy, dim light, a darker place than the older sushi place. they maintained the windows all over two of the four walls and put benchs nearby, along with chairs and proper good tables to put your laptop or tablet. you know, like that vibe you want to get when you arrive at st-bucks but without all the wrong things on st-bucks. just the vibe of studying and writing relaxed while drinking coffee or hot beverages.

it would have been perfect if there wasn't for the people of my neighborhood, but you know, that's something i cannot change and i can avoid with an ipod and good earbuds. had two tables beside my seat, one occupied by two mothers that were talking and the other one, by their kids, screaming and fighting over the coloring books. at another table, a guy was playing with his phone while he was on a familiar meeting, the phone loud as hell, i thought he was trying to find a new ringtone by the kind of weird tones the phone was making. of course, all of this got forgot when i grabbed the ipod. bless my luck the day i could get one and update it to save me from this kind of situations.

(also, look how cute is bartholomew with his new clothes, all made by me from scratch <3 the top is a friggin sock with a The Prodigy's patch handpainted by me. the tiny jeans? from a cut of larger jeans, sewn by me. and his little boots weren't there bc every time i got him outside, i fear he could lose them, so welp, bare foot until i got a better way to fix his shoes to his tiny feets)

i could write the lineup for the next part on Laurel's story. i'm really glad i could advance a little with that because sometimes i cannot sit down and continue to work on some of my projects because im far from being fine or in the right mood to touch them. yes, it's better to do something, even if its not perfect, that not doing nothing. but sometimes, trying to push my inspiration and write about some characters and some scenes would consume myself, my energy and everything and... i'm not precisely high on energy to waste it.

but for some reason, im being able to approach that project without getting too overwhelmed and i think it even cheered me a little, giving me an extra energy when i saw i have outlined 1-9 scenes and the final scene (14). so much, that i could even rearrange all the laundry, store them and write this entry! wow!

i dont want to say 'wow everything is going better!' and then things going down again, and at the same time, some days like this make me feel more weightless, less angsty as hell. i hope it's the begining for better days.

Current Mood: relieved
Current Location: main table on livingroom
Current Music: origin - evanescence

gonna make an entry that will be updated with more tips and stuff on how to adapt ourselves again to blogging like in the old times. i miss photobucket.

photoscape

i've been using this software since 2007. it's easy af to use, free (it never asked me for weird permissions or a premiumship), it allows you to edit single and bulk pictures, including resizing and putting a... "movie" film tint. but for resizing the BIG ASS pictures that our phones take nowadays, its a cool thing

http://www.photoscape.org/ps/main/index.php

filegarden

free filehosting service to upload the pictures and then link it to your blog entries 👍

https://filegarden.com/

windows key & .

if you're writing your stuff from a computer and want to add an emoji, ironic or not (we dont judge here), you can pulse on windows key and dot '.' it will open the emoji selector from windows

tumblr & pinterest as places to find icons or decorations

Disclaimer: remember that something from the internet doesnt mean everyone could use it freely! its our etiquette to make the internet a better place.
you can search for 'stamps', 'blinkies', 'icons', sometimes followed by 'aesthetic' or a color you might like

i'll update it later with more tips, hope this is usefull for now!

Current Mood: creative
Current Location: table on the living room
Current Music: Kiss FM Radio Station

sometimes i try to guide my self on what to work depending on external signals, as a random song on the radio that reminds me to x, or my brain just waking up at 4AM

right now i have ill be right there waiting for you, from brian adams, in two radio stations. it sounded twice this morning. but i also got woke up at 4AM in the middle of this night.

what is this weird crossroad of inspo path????

felt again the fear, the regret on my skin, mortifying myself for leaving behind, unattended, neglected even, all the green life outside on my balcony. i cleaned the whole room, prune the dried leaves and talk a little to the most affected of all the plants; my two rose plants. had a moment of thinking in how i didnt want to stay away from living things that need my care and support, what are the consecuences for this disappearing, understanding that it wasn't a conscious thing i do, nor i should punish myself even more. because depression, anxiety and adhd brings a lot of extra stress to an already agitated brain. however, it was more easier to talk with my rose plants that with the people i left behind. but i'm still learning and working to do it, when i'll be better.

working at the balcony, surrounded by my cats and my plants and getting a little of natural light actually helped me to do a better job. or at least, not feeling existential dread like all this days on this week. got an old radio to work again and put some "classic" songs (aka, music from the last 40 years that for me its just "the last 20 years, you know, 80s and so) that cheered me up my day.

shared a silly fact about my bracelets with a friend and got the opportunity to show them a little. i like so much the chaos, the non-consistent palette of the beads, and the charms? truly, its moon and sun coded.

and the day died with a precious sky, as always. madrid could be shitty sometimes but god damn it, what a gorgeous sunsets it left. specially if you have cool film to make everything more rainbow-esque and magical.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: ol' reliable sofa

okay, right now i feel like i had the bigger brain i ever had. i was lurking around to customize the DW and though 'boy, we can HAVE STAMPS right now???'

so i went to Organize > Customize Journal Style > Text > Custom text (you can also access via this URL: https://www.dreamwidth.org/customize/options?group=text)

on Custom text, you can add HTML code. i wouldnt abuse of that feature but it could help to put some cool stamps? so i added the first stamp using the ol' reliable code:

<p align="center"><img src="url of the picture of the stamp" alt="" /></p>

once you put all you want on your Custom Text, press 'Save Changes'! and now, you can make it visible going to the left tab 'Modules' and search for 'Custom text' module (ctrl + f is ur friend).

it appears at 13 position, you only need to check the box and throw it on the module section you like (mine is on 'Main Module Section')

okay, until here, all i said is pretty usual for anyone from oldschool days on deviantart. well, HERE COMES THE MAGIC

i search for more stamps. like, there was a LOT i liked in tumblr and my brain works better on bulk. but ada, how the *hell* are you gonna put on bulk a lot of URL images, you have to put a prefix and sufix to each one and...

==> Enter: Excel/Calc Sheet editor

1. first cell (normally A1): you put <img src=" (beware the " symbol! copy and paste if necessary!)
2. second cell (normally B1): the URL of the picture or stamp or blinkie you want to add
3. third cell (normaly C1): finish the code with " />

you can, as example, fill first the second column with every picture you would like to add, one per row, and then just complete the other two columns so you can have the same number of particles.
you could copy the three cells or the whole range, but you'll have spaces between the " and the URL and that's not what we want. SO...

we take the... fifth column? to let some air between columns, and add the magic formula:

=CONCAT(A1;B1;C1)

you see that bold dot on the lower right corner of the cell? drag it till you reach the last row filled with your particles and URL's. BANG. you have a whole list of the code you need to insert all your stamps!

this code only would add the images, remember you need to add the HTML tags 'p' for aligning the whole block to the center:

<p align="center">

# HERE WILL BE THE HTML BLOCK CODE # 

</p>

BOOM. you can put all the blinkies, stamps, banners and other nice stuff from the 00s so your journal could look like homer's webpage.

GO AHEAD! GO CRAZY! EXPRESS YOURSELF, I BEG YOU!!

Current Mood: hyper
Current Location: bed, again
Current Music: let go (2022) - avril lavigne

you know, the classic 'no, i dont want an e-reader because i love how the books smell, and their touch!'. it was debunked for me when i went out of my city, with my family, on a summer vacation, and only brought with me one book. i thought it would last the two weeks i would be far from home. clearly, i didn't measure it correctly because i read that book in almost three days. and had the whole collection back home. that was the moment when i thought maybe getting a kindle or an e-reader could be a good option

then, life happened, the biggest SLUMP ever on my life happened too, and i stoped reading. yea. like that.

it wasn't until 2019 that i grabbed a book and FINISHED IT. it was the good old dark academia classic 'The Secret History' from Donna Tartt. also, binge watching A Series of Unfortunate Events series from Netflix helped to enter into the mood of grabbing a goddamn book after all that time. my mother gifted me a kindle paperwhite (10th) with a great joke and a reprise of a terrible prank she made to me when i was a child. holyshit mom, you'll never change (affectionate)

since 2019 i used it... more or less. past year i saw how some booktok people decorate with clear cases, stickers and pop sockets their kindles and decided that could be an interesting option? i weren't on my best mood past year (i'm still a little meh, but recovering) and choose some aesthetic stickers i had laying around. even generic, those were the less... generic. yea. but at the time, they was the best options, lmao.

during this terrible artblock/burnout that is lasting the last weeks, im trying to read more and do other stuff to recharge myself creatively (i shouldnt be writing or drawing to not burn myself even more). i've been reading more thant the last year, and had a burst of inspiration to change the background and use other stickers i had around that... represent myself a little more, heh

good thing that im in spain and people dont have on their english vocabulary the word 'smut' as 'ok you're reading p-' because it would be funny to read on the subway. i wouldn't care, maybe if im reading on the office restroom, but just there.

im still a little affected but it seems that im less lost on what represents me, what defines me, what makes me feel myself.

wish this could heal as soon as possible.

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: the bed
Current Music: 40 hits classic (radio FM)

wanted to get into DW again since long, but there was something holding me back. probably not having much to say (that's a lie) or feeling that nobody would read it (another lie, i would re-read it eventually)
probably it has to do with this stupid art block that keep me for writing the last weeks, but meh.

the planets aligned today somehow: i fight back my guilt, clean the balcony, prune the old branches on my dearest rose plants (they were needed a little of love and water, wasn't easy to overcome the guilt and the mortifying feeling of neglecting my green babies) and water all of them. that, along with finding an old ipod system with radio FM and working from the balcony, it's making the day really much more easy to handle, not gonna lie

i got distracted with a broken clock (which i managed to mount again after EXPLODING in a mess of gears, im not sure HOW) and didnt notice that my homies were talking about my favourite topic: old technology, the old way of journaling and blogs, and music outside spotify. probably it was the final push to come again to DW.

what will you find here? whatever it comes through my mind, probably.

Current Mood: artistic
Current Location: the balcony
Current Music: 40 hits classic (radio FM)